Which way would you wish these to go?
Mine
Dave's not here, man... It’s a dubious drug I have bought Since I tried it, I wish I had not What would anyone need With some laxative weed? Now I can’t get myself off the pot. ---------------------- Dirty money As Canadian coins start to trickle The censors are caught in a pickle For the prudes in their pride Are hoping to hide The beaver displayed on the nickel. ----------------------- Gettin' Higgy with it Though the general public may doze on CERN's search for new particles goes on Their scientist squadrons Are all getting hadrons Because they've discovered a boson. --------------------- How's his hearing? There once was a man who, for years Would always drink too many beers They took out his bladder But it didn’t matter He learned how to pee out his ears. ---------------------- I'm a-gassed! This one may be offensive to you: How is Santa Claus unlike a Jew? ('Twas the favorite of jokes Among Schutzstaffel blokes) Santa goes DOWN the chimney. It's true! ---------------------- The vanity of profanity insanity I've noticed some people can't bear To hear even a casual swear It seems odd that a word'll Get under their girdle But me? I don't fucking well care. ---------------------- Too fruity While women may walk down the street And dream that a date would be sweet We men may make merry By popping a cherry And saying, “it cannot be beet.” ---------------------- What's tat? A vibrant young vixen named Viv Said "Tit for tat - that's how I live." So I surmise that She gets lots of tat For everything she's got to give. ---------------------- Yes, the bitch is a dog, we have heard But some people do not like that word So they’re bound to all balk When we talk of the cock Just relax, that’s the rooster – a bird. ---------------------- The Donald’s an angry old schmuck Who rants on, not giving a fuck Some, with head up their rump Think the Donald’s a Trump But I differ; the Donald’s a duck. ---------------------- There once was a man from Beirut Who was paralyzed, deaf, and a mute He was also quite gay So the bigots would say “He’s a vegetable, and he’s a fruit.” ---------------------- ---------------------- ---------------------- ---------------------- ---------------------- ---------------------- |
Not Mine
There once was a girl in my class Who had a magnificent ass Not pretty and pink As you well may think It was gray, had long ears, and ate grass. ---------------------- ---------------------- ---------------------- ---------------------- ---------------------- ---------------------- ---------------------- ---------------------- ---------------------- ---------------------- ---------------------- ---------------------- ---------------------- ---------------------- ---------------------- |